I Married My Cat

I am utterly disgusted by the way in which I am taken for granted. This bitch thinks she owns me. She hogs my blankets, won't leave me alone in the bathroom, is always bitchin' when I am in the kitchen, and practically sits right on me, pinning me down, when I watch television. Even ass I sit here and write in my trusty blog, I have a big fat furry ass touching my elbow... I can't even take a shit without the inevitable clicking of Ms. Vanna down the hall and a two shiny green eyes peering around the corner of the bathroom door. Damn cat ain't got no chin.... Cat is so stuck up my ass, it makes JEN look antisocial..... GEEZ!!!! Then again, she is old school puss....
I love her to death. I can take her in the shower. Drive her around in my truck. Hell, I can even dress her up in fucked up costumes like a too-too and babushka! She doesn't care as long as I lay down the milk and let her plop her fuzzy ass in my face when I lounge out and watch the tube. Bitch purrs like a chainsaw and drools..... Nothin' like a wet and wild cuddle-puss.... OH FUCK IT!!!! "FIGURE 8s!!!!!!!!! SIT LIKE A PEOPLES!!!!!!! " All I need is a pawsized ring.